Our next blog series will discuss the book Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. Dr. Brown’s research went viral after her Ted Talk on The Power of Vulnerability, which has been viewed over 6 million times! Check out her Ted Talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o&t=2s.
As Dr. Brown began her research, she was looking to understand what Wholehearted Living is – or “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness”. One of the concepts that kept emerging though, was that in order to live wholehearted and be courageous, we have to open ourselves up to vulnerability. Let’s take a look at the myths of vulnerability that Dr. Brown discovered through her research and how it applies to performance excellence.
It is arguable that most people view vulnerability as a weakness, as we tend to avoid dark emotions like fear, shame, and disappointment. Through her research, Dr. Brown found the exact opposite to be true: people who were willing to be vulnerable were actually the most courageous.
“Vulnerability is the birth place of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”
Feeling these emotions allows us to connect with others and be our best selves. Another myth of vulnerability is that we have a choice of whether or not we want to expose ourselves to being vulnerable. And while you can try to avoid being vulnerable, there is a big consequence: a lack of connection and love in our lives. No one can hide from vulnerability, instead choose to embrace it and let others in to your life.
The third myth describes vulnerability as “letting it all hang out, your feelings, emotions, problems, and biggest secrets. But in reality, vulnerability is not about oversharing, it is instead about letting in the people who have earned your trust. Dr. Brown explains trust by using a “marble jar” metaphor. Picture a jar and a bag of marbles. When someone builds your trust by supporting you and keeping the things that you told them private, they earn marbles in the jar. If that friend does something that breaks your trust, like being disrespectful or telling your secrets, then you take marbles out of the jar. The balance of these deposits and withdrawals is an indicator of the trust you have with this person. Trust is an important part of our relationships, but know that trust doesn’t have to be all or none.
The final myth is that we can “go at it alone.” When we manage all of life’s uncertainty, including the people and situations around us, we never let pain and fear in. But again, there are consequences because we are missing out on the gift of human connection. We look brave on the outside, but feel scared on the inside. What we can do instead is lean on our family and friends. Ask for help when we need it and be willing to feel emotions that are not the most fun. By doing this, we open ourselves up to greater love, giving, and good because we are willing to deepen our relationships with others and ourselves. One of our new modules will discuss how being a good teammate and building trusting relationships with our coaches and teammates is the most critical lesson we will discuss!
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